I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
