once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
