Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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