I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
