If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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