he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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