so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
