sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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