I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
