I never want to see another naked old woman again.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
