My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
wow bdsm is so cute
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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