if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize