I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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