the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
