I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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