It was confusing and full of hummus
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
