just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
