she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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