HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
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