the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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