My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
NoShamevember. You game?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
