am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
