Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
