you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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