just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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