allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
