I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
