nut hugger
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
