I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
