Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
