This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
