This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
