For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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