Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
