I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
