but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
