No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
