What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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