just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
