I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
