dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
