I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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