I think my fart just growled at me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
