she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
