ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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