But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
