he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
