Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
