Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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