Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
