I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
