can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
