Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
