i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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