Jerry, you need to find god
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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