Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
