Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
