wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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