Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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