I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
