I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
