you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
