You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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