As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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