Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
