i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
