I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
